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attackbrows) wrote2021-08-20 08:27 am
attackbrows) wrote2021-08-20 08:27 am
{ximilia} - ic inbox
You've reached Dr. Funkenstein. Expert on all things funkadelic. Please, by all means, save us both the hassle and don't leave a message. | |
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[It's sometime after finishing explaining things to Newt that she seeks him out. She doesn't mean to contact him with a voice message, but with her focus being all over the place her control over the earpiece has her thinking of him and sending something on accident.
That something is:
All of time and space at our disposal, and we all wind up stuck in a station that's just as small on the inside as it is on the outside.
Which doesn't sound like a complaint as much as it is fond musing, the humor evident in her tone as it plays across his earpiece for him.
She seeks him out in the lab first, and finds evidence of what she thinks is his workspace. But he's gone by the time she gets there, obviously distracted. So she makes her way to the sunlight room next, and finds him pretty quickly. She slips right on up behind him and wraps her arms around his chest in a hug.]
Do you know what the best part about having limited space is, Doctor? It's not all that difficult to find you.
That something is:
All of time and space at our disposal, and we all wind up stuck in a station that's just as small on the inside as it is on the outside.
Which doesn't sound like a complaint as much as it is fond musing, the humor evident in her tone as it plays across his earpiece for him.
She seeks him out in the lab first, and finds evidence of what she thinks is his workspace. But he's gone by the time she gets there, obviously distracted. So she makes her way to the sunlight room next, and finds him pretty quickly. She slips right on up behind him and wraps her arms around his chest in a hug.]
Do you know what the best part about having limited space is, Doctor? It's not all that difficult to find you.
[The problem with time is that you never know how fast or slow it actually goes. And for the Doctor, time is at a long, boring standstill. He tries to make do with the limited space they have been provided. There’s only so much mileage he can get out of being in a verbal tiff with a greasy hedgehog trying to play troupe leader.
But he tries. He’s trying for Clara and no one else. Not caring if he appears as some intimidating barn owl. As long as Clara is here safe and sound, that’s all that matter in those twenty-seven brains of his.
Inside the Sunlight Room, the Doctor looks curiously at one of the plants on the side. Leaning in to smell its floral accents, he feels his waist being wrapped around in a firm embrace. Not surprised by her penchant for hugs, it’s more of a welcome surprise, really.
He softly grips over her forearm, holding back the grin tugging at his lips.]
It’s becoming more and more difficult to find places to hide. [He jokes.] Thought about hiding inside the broom closet for the time being but that thought quickly swept out my mind.
But he tries. He’s trying for Clara and no one else. Not caring if he appears as some intimidating barn owl. As long as Clara is here safe and sound, that’s all that matter in those twenty-seven brains of his.
Inside the Sunlight Room, the Doctor looks curiously at one of the plants on the side. Leaning in to smell its floral accents, he feels his waist being wrapped around in a firm embrace. Not surprised by her penchant for hugs, it’s more of a welcome surprise, really.
He softly grips over her forearm, holding back the grin tugging at his lips.]
It’s becoming more and more difficult to find places to hide. [He jokes.] Thought about hiding inside the broom closet for the time being but that thought quickly swept out my mind.
[That pulls a laugh out of her, and she leans forward to press her cheek against his arm.]
You know what they say. Too much hiding away in dark broom closets might make you sweepy.
[There's another chuckle as she pulls out of the hug, and slips over to stand at his side and peer down at the plants he's looking over. She isn't all that much of a plant person. But he has a way of making everything seem fascinating to her.]
Thinking of striking up an interest in botany? I've got plans for a hydroponic garden going, if you wanted to lend a hand.
[She's been a busy little bee while he's been away.]
You know what they say. Too much hiding away in dark broom closets might make you sweepy.
[There's another chuckle as she pulls out of the hug, and slips over to stand at his side and peer down at the plants he's looking over. She isn't all that much of a plant person. But he has a way of making everything seem fascinating to her.]
Thinking of striking up an interest in botany? I've got plans for a hydroponic garden going, if you wanted to lend a hand.
[She's been a busy little bee while he's been away.]
[Okay. That is a good use of wordplay. But he’s still going to roll his eyes and groan so that he holds some semblance of authority over pun use. They’re awful and terrible and only he can be the worst at it.
There is some clever observation cooked up in that head of his about the plant life here, but the mention of Clara getting into hydroponics (again) distracts him.]
You? Getting into hydroponics? They won’t stand a chance. Not with you and your control freakishness and Jane Austen banter.
There is some clever observation cooked up in that head of his about the plant life here, but the mention of Clara getting into hydroponics (again) distracts him.]
You? Getting into hydroponics? They won’t stand a chance. Not with you and your control freakishness and Jane Austen banter.
[how dare he call her out like this. Her jaw drops and she stares up at him for a few moments.]
I'm not a control freak!
[She will never deny her passion for Jane Austen banter though. There's a roll of her eyes and a smirk on her face, as she crosses her arms over her chest. The nerve of him, calling her a control freak. No one points out her own flaws right in her face, especially not so flippantly.]
I just thought that someone ought to make sure the children here have food in case we ever stop getting supply drops.
I'm not a control freak!
[She will never deny her passion for Jane Austen banter though. There's a roll of her eyes and a smirk on her face, as she crosses her arms over her chest. The nerve of him, calling her a control freak. No one points out her own flaws right in her face, especially not so flippantly.]
I just thought that someone ought to make sure the children here have food in case we ever stop getting supply drops.
[Ah. Right. She’s yet to fall headfirst into their candid banter. The whole "he calls her a control freak, and she calls him a daft old man" etc, etc. Some might even say they sound like an old married couple.
For now, he plays it off with a coyish stare at the plant life in front of them.
He quips—]
That’s the spirit: Erase our regrets. One fresh batch of tomato basil pasta sauce at a time.
[Yes. He understands. Circumstances show that the little ones need to eat. But he’s not about to give up his time on the Ximilia to be that of domesticated bliss.
The Doctor bows his head down and turns around to face her.]
Since when did you get all…homey? Even by your standards, this is all busywork.
For now, he plays it off with a coyish stare at the plant life in front of them.
He quips—]
That’s the spirit: Erase our regrets. One fresh batch of tomato basil pasta sauce at a time.
[Yes. He understands. Circumstances show that the little ones need to eat. But he’s not about to give up his time on the Ximilia to be that of domesticated bliss.
The Doctor bows his head down and turns around to face her.]
Since when did you get all…homey? Even by your standards, this is all busywork.
[Oops he manages to ruffle her feathers. She bristles a little, eyebrows arching slowly.]
What else is there?
[There's a dangerous edge to her voice, one that challenges him to go ahead and press further. She hasn't freely spoken about her throat punching training with Erik, about the things she had to do on her first mission, or about the mental toll said mission has taken on her. Instead, she has to focus on something at the station. And that something is trying to improve that situation for everyone.
She's mildly hurt that he doesn't see the value in her trying, and winds up turning her head to glance away and look back at the plants.]
I'm buying time until I decide if I want to insist on a new regret to change. I figured I should make myself useful if I'm going to be making demands of Viveca anytime soon.
What else is there?
[There's a dangerous edge to her voice, one that challenges him to go ahead and press further. She hasn't freely spoken about her throat punching training with Erik, about the things she had to do on her first mission, or about the mental toll said mission has taken on her. Instead, she has to focus on something at the station. And that something is trying to improve that situation for everyone.
She's mildly hurt that he doesn't see the value in her trying, and winds up turning her head to glance away and look back at the plants.]
I'm buying time until I decide if I want to insist on a new regret to change. I figured I should make myself useful if I'm going to be making demands of Viveca anytime soon.
Seriously?
[His tone is obviously incredulous. This Clara may be from a different point in the Doctor’s past, but he is holding out of that little ounce of hope that she at least tries to look past whatever this station puts forth in front of her.
Clara might turn to look away from the Doctor, but he keeps his eyes on her. His body pivots to face her.]
Is that what this is all about? [Pointing out to one plant with his hand mid-air.] Playing with your new AI pal; Collecting orbs and tending to the tomatoes on the off chance your regret gets scrubbed away?
[His tone is obviously incredulous. This Clara may be from a different point in the Doctor’s past, but he is holding out of that little ounce of hope that she at least tries to look past whatever this station puts forth in front of her.
Clara might turn to look away from the Doctor, but he keeps his eyes on her. His body pivots to face her.]
Is that what this is all about? [Pointing out to one plant with his hand mid-air.] Playing with your new AI pal; Collecting orbs and tending to the tomatoes on the off chance your regret gets scrubbed away?
[When she looks back up at him, a storm is brewing in her eyes. They're clouded with anger, running hot through her. She wants to slap him. He doesn't even have any idea what her regret even is.
But the fact of the matter is she's only angry because she's not used to the Doctor speaking to her like this. She isn't used to him knowing her well enough that he can call her out and force her to respond.
She's used to being the one in control. Right now, she feels like the power dynamic has shifted. And that makes her incredibly uncomfortable.]
Thing is, we all agreed to be here.
[he's turned to be in her space so she steps in closer, a tiny and furious force of nature that blusters its way right up against him. They're pressed in close, and she tips her head enough to stare up at him. Her hands are on her hips and she's quiet for a moment, before launching into a torrent of words that just spill right out of her.]
Just because I'm trying to make myself useful doesn't mean I trust Viveca. It doesn't mean I'm blind to the fact it makes me and everyone else here incredibly selfish to agree to undo something that could drastically change history. I get that we're meddling in planets in ways that could alter the flow of time and space and cause some sort of disaster. I know you tend to underestimate me, but please, just this once. Don't think I'm sweet and simple and oblivious to the reality of the situation.
But the fact of the matter is she's only angry because she's not used to the Doctor speaking to her like this. She isn't used to him knowing her well enough that he can call her out and force her to respond.
She's used to being the one in control. Right now, she feels like the power dynamic has shifted. And that makes her incredibly uncomfortable.]
Thing is, we all agreed to be here.
[he's turned to be in her space so she steps in closer, a tiny and furious force of nature that blusters its way right up against him. They're pressed in close, and she tips her head enough to stare up at him. Her hands are on her hips and she's quiet for a moment, before launching into a torrent of words that just spill right out of her.]
Just because I'm trying to make myself useful doesn't mean I trust Viveca. It doesn't mean I'm blind to the fact it makes me and everyone else here incredibly selfish to agree to undo something that could drastically change history. I get that we're meddling in planets in ways that could alter the flow of time and space and cause some sort of disaster. I know you tend to underestimate me, but please, just this once. Don't think I'm sweet and simple and oblivious to the reality of the situation.
Hey, uh... Doc. You think you could help a guy out for a sec?
You don't have to actually physically do anything but listen over the earpiece. Pinky swear.
I won't even call you a barn owl.
[Hey, wow, does he sound a little sheepish????]
You don't have to actually physically do anything but listen over the earpiece. Pinky swear.
I won't even call you a barn owl.
[Hey, wow, does he sound a little sheepish????]
[There’s that familiar stare. The one where Clara can create natural disasters with those giant glassy eyes. No matter how she tries to outsize him in their crossness, he doesn’t budge from where he stands.]
Don’t be so full of yourself, Clara.
[Yes. That is not the best thing to blurt out in the middle of a tiff. But the Doctor’s voice is far from being some condescending idiot. There is sincere gruff in those words. One that he hopes that her ego can overcome.
This is a matter of how far he has to go. How far will the Doctor have to go to pull Clara out if/when the bottom falls out?]
Don’t be so full of yourself, Clara.
[Yes. That is not the best thing to blurt out in the middle of a tiff. But the Doctor’s voice is far from being some condescending idiot. There is sincere gruff in those words. One that he hopes that her ego can overcome.
This is a matter of how far he has to go. How far will the Doctor have to go to pull Clara out if/when the bottom falls out?]
[The Doctor takes a few steps back and looks to the floor, scrubbing his face with the back of his knuckles. He angles out said hand and sticks it outward in the air.]
…The thing is about agreements is that they’re simply that: Flimsy promises made to each other. You either notice it or get burned with the bridge in front of you.
[He sucks in a breath and directs his eyes back at Clara.]
I just want you to be the one ready to run. Not the one carrying the gasoline.
…The thing is about agreements is that they’re simply that: Flimsy promises made to each other. You either notice it or get burned with the bridge in front of you.
[He sucks in a breath and directs his eyes back at Clara.]
I just want you to be the one ready to run. Not the one carrying the gasoline.
My attention span is very liminal so this better be a juicy stream of consciousness.
[aka — It’s a good thing you caught him in the middle of walking the dog with his Yo-Yo.]
[aka — It’s a good thing you caught him in the middle of walking the dog with his Yo-Yo.]
Right. Uh. So.
It's my personal goal. You know, the goal we've got to complete, or the orb won't help us with our regret? I failed it last time, so I don't exactly can't go failing anymore, and — anyway, it's — y'know. It's a pretty easy one this time, in theory, but also not. And.
[Is that the rambling you wanted, Doctor????]
... It says I gotta be vulnerable to someone I don't trust... so...
It's my personal goal. You know, the goal we've got to complete, or the orb won't help us with our regret? I failed it last time, so I don't exactly can't go failing anymore, and — anyway, it's — y'know. It's a pretty easy one this time, in theory, but also not. And.
[Is that the rambling you wanted, Doctor????]
... It says I gotta be vulnerable to someone I don't trust... so...
And you expect me to stand in as your talking piece for the next however-long minutes?
[He stops mid-trick so he can actually talk with his hands.]
Someone you’ve openly admitted to saying you don’t trust which — by the way, not the brightest move, Boy Scout. You could’ve gone on not admitting that part of the assignment.
[He stops mid-trick so he can actually talk with his hands.]
Someone you’ve openly admitted to saying you don’t trust which — by the way, not the brightest move, Boy Scout. You could’ve gone on not admitting that part of the assignment.
Yeah, well. If you're gonna hang up on me or whatever, it is what it is, but I'm not gonna lie about the reason I picked you. I don't like being fake, even if it makes people dislike me.
[He shrugs, quiet for a moment where he sits, hands fidgeting along the edge of a table.]
Anyway, I don't trust you, 'cus you and me didn't exactly hit it off.
But I trust Clara, and she trusts you, so I know you're a good choice.
[He shrugs, quiet for a moment where he sits, hands fidgeting along the edge of a table.]
Anyway, I don't trust you, 'cus you and me didn't exactly hit it off.
But I trust Clara, and she trusts you, so I know you're a good choice.
What did I just say about me having little patience?! Come on! Chop, chop. Fork over the details, eh?
[Your words. Not his, buddy.]
[Your words. Not his, buddy.]
Edited (pre-emptive hit on the edit update while i was still editing lkjasl) 2021-09-10 19:54 (UTC)
[sPUTTER-]
I wasn't sure you'd — I wasn't thinking that far ahead! Uh-!
[THINK, WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT TROUBLES?
Ah, right. Nightmares! The nightmares and the, the nosebleeds?
(You will not tell someone like him about any of that. You will not discuss anything about the drift or your nightmares with him, not ever!
Do not speak to the Doctor about the precursors; do not speak to either Doctor of your symptoms.)
No, no, he shouldn't talk about that stuff. Too personal. Uh-
He rubs his hands through his hair, and his mind stumbles around for something else.]
I've never had this many friends before, and I'm terrified I'm gonna mess it up, because I always mess this kind of thing up; I get defensive and I lash out, and I make really stupid choices, and I'm scared to death I'm gonna end up pushing everyone away because they think I'm an unlikable weirdo who isn't worth their time — especially the person I'm too scared to tell that I'm in love with them!
I wasn't sure you'd — I wasn't thinking that far ahead! Uh-!
[THINK, WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT TROUBLES?
Ah, right. Nightmares! The nightmares and the, the nosebleeds?
(You will not tell someone like him about any of that. You will not discuss anything about the drift or your nightmares with him, not ever!
Do not speak to the Doctor about the precursors; do not speak to either Doctor of your symptoms.)
No, no, he shouldn't talk about that stuff. Too personal. Uh-
He rubs his hands through his hair, and his mind stumbles around for something else.]
I've never had this many friends before, and I'm terrified I'm gonna mess it up, because I always mess this kind of thing up; I get defensive and I lash out, and I make really stupid choices, and I'm scared to death I'm gonna end up pushing everyone away because they think I'm an unlikable weirdo who isn't worth their time — especially the person I'm too scared to tell that I'm in love with them!
[The one thing he loathes most about phone calls: The prattling. Between Newton's sputtering and high-speed vocal fry ramble, the Doctor can fit in one double trapeze and an around the corner trick. He stands there in the awkward pause as he pulls the toy back up to his hand.]
[But yes, back to playing Universal Truth or Dare.
The best he can offer is a nonchalant shrug and an-]
Okay.
The best he can offer is a nonchalant shrug and an-]
Okay.
... Um. Okay.
[He sits there for a long moment, wondering if he should-
Well yeah, he's gonna.]
Do you usually reply that way to people you like, too, or am I just that much of a pain?
[He sits there for a long moment, wondering if he should-
Well yeah, he's gonna.]
Do you usually reply that way to people you like, too, or am I just that much of a pain?
What more are you looking for? For me to scratch my neck and tell you there’s nothing to be afraid of? Because I’ll tell you. About a majority of that prattle of yours? Right on target! Top of the class.
[Might as well not mince words. It’ll only make matters worse in the long run.]
You don’t need to be a psychoanalyst to infer that little stunt you pulled on the network to be a far cry of “I am Doctor Newton Geiszler, please validate my existence through your currency of attention.”
[Might as well not mince words. It’ll only make matters worse in the long run.]
You don’t need to be a psychoanalyst to infer that little stunt you pulled on the network to be a far cry of “I am Doctor Newton Geiszler, please validate my existence through your currency of attention.”
Jesus.
[He runs a hand down his face, and while his whole body goes hot with the urge to raise his voice — he at least knows he's at fault for reaching out to this guy in the first place. But boy, he didn't expect that. Something in his stomach twists up, and he makes careful fists, but swallows down his immediate urge to lash out, because it'd probably make the guy really content with the reaction.]
... I mean, I figured you'd be a bad choice, but I shockingly didn't have as many options as I thought. Do you do that to your friends, too? Make them feel like shit?
[But this is The Doctor, right? Clara wanted them to get along, and she had faith in him. Hell, she loved him. Whatever version, he's not completely sure, but it stands to reason every Doctor means the world to her. And Clara means so much to him — is he missing something here? Does he just talk to her like this all day? Make her feel like she's stupid for bothering? Every outburst coiling up in him has to be beaten down, and he tries really hard to keep her in mind. Don't freak out, you reached out first; this person is Clara's person!
He stops, and asks tightly:]
Do I really seem like that?
[He runs a hand down his face, and while his whole body goes hot with the urge to raise his voice — he at least knows he's at fault for reaching out to this guy in the first place. But boy, he didn't expect that. Something in his stomach twists up, and he makes careful fists, but swallows down his immediate urge to lash out, because it'd probably make the guy really content with the reaction.]
... I mean, I figured you'd be a bad choice, but I shockingly didn't have as many options as I thought. Do you do that to your friends, too? Make them feel like shit?
[But this is The Doctor, right? Clara wanted them to get along, and she had faith in him. Hell, she loved him. Whatever version, he's not completely sure, but it stands to reason every Doctor means the world to her. And Clara means so much to him — is he missing something here? Does he just talk to her like this all day? Make her feel like she's stupid for bothering? Every outburst coiling up in him has to be beaten down, and he tries really hard to keep her in mind. Don't freak out, you reached out first; this person is Clara's person!
He stops, and asks tightly:]
Do I really seem like that?
No. That is not the question!
[See? This is exactly what happens whenever he gets himself in these sorts of overly emotional tit for tats. You tell one person the truth of the matter and suddenly you’re the big bad wolf.
That seething anger on the other side of the device is all too familiar. The Doctor knows it all too well. You don’t run all throughout time and space with an air of careless bravado and not have it circle and bite you? It happened to him before with Rose. And it happened again with Amy and Rory. He can’t be the same Space Peter Pan people once thought him to be. That mask has long fallen off.
And so he keeps this as simple as possible:]
You wanted to tell me your troubles; I confirmed them. This is not about me placating half-truths to you. This is about you asking yourself: “How long will I keep running for?”
[See? This is exactly what happens whenever he gets himself in these sorts of overly emotional tit for tats. You tell one person the truth of the matter and suddenly you’re the big bad wolf.
That seething anger on the other side of the device is all too familiar. The Doctor knows it all too well. You don’t run all throughout time and space with an air of careless bravado and not have it circle and bite you? It happened to him before with Rose. And it happened again with Amy and Rory. He can’t be the same Space Peter Pan people once thought him to be. That mask has long fallen off.
And so he keeps this as simple as possible:]
You wanted to tell me your troubles; I confirmed them. This is not about me placating half-truths to you. This is about you asking yourself: “How long will I keep running for?”
... Bullshit, dude.
You don't get to use the 'tough love' argument to be an asshole to someone who tries to reach out. Those two things aren't mutually exclusive. You're just using being honest as a way to be a big dick, get rid of them by acting like they're such a drain on your life energy.
So sorry to waste your time, Doctor.
Forget it, this was a mistake. I was vulnerable long enough, it sucked and now I remember exactly why I shouldn't do it. Thanks for nothing, and you can go fuck yourself.
[BEEP.]
You don't get to use the 'tough love' argument to be an asshole to someone who tries to reach out. Those two things aren't mutually exclusive. You're just using being honest as a way to be a big dick, get rid of them by acting like they're such a drain on your life energy.
So sorry to waste your time, Doctor.
Forget it, this was a mistake. I was vulnerable long enough, it sucked and now I remember exactly why I shouldn't do it. Thanks for nothing, and you can go fuck yourself.
[BEEP.]
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