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[attackbrows]

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[spoilers]

[ She doesn't hover as he recovers in the same way she might (and has) over his younger self. It's more subtle than that, the way she simply seems to be there more often than she isn't. To tell the truth, she isn't even sure the Doctor's noticed the gradual shift from her avoiding him to existing just outside (and sometimes inside) his personal space. She almost doesn't notice it herself until a conversation during Newt's movie night makes her realize...she isn't angry anymore.

It's well into the night some few days after when she settles next to him on the bed with a book she isn't even interested in, a bottle of wine, and a single glass. She offers him the glass in silence. But her silence doesn't last long. It rarely does unless she's angry. Or deeply hurt. ]

I know I'm not supposed to talk about it; you haven't been there yet. I see it every time I look at you.

[ She doesn't bother to mask her feelings, not this time. She's earned her disappointment, her heartache. ]

But we had a good marriage, you know.

[ Suddenly she laughs. It sounds ridiculous when she puts it like that. But summing up their time on Darillium any other way when they can't share in the memories seems...wrong, somehow. ]

[attackbrows]

[ At first, he says nothing. He looks softly at River pouring her glass as she speaks. Darillium has always been a point of contention for the Doctor. He remembers all those times River would ask about when they can travel there and he always had to skate away from the answer.

Because he knows those singing towers marked something wonderful for their marriage. But it also meant the eventual end to something wonderful.

It’s all very complicated. Marriages are complicated. The very least he can do is to be a decent husband. ]

…Good. [ He holds the glass over his chest. ] Because it would be very awkward if you’re to tell me you want to file for a divorce.

[spoilers]

[ She laughs again, taking a drink this time to punctuate it. ] Stuck with me, I'm afraid.

[ A part of her wants to tell him she hadn't been any more willing to let him go than he had her, but he had let her go, walked away and found someone new. Multiple someones, knowing the Doctor. It's hard to say how long it's been, exactly, not that they've ever been exclusive, strictly speaking.

Maybe Darillium has made her selfish. Or maybe it's dying that's done it. ]

I knew as well as you did, what was coming. I never could keep away from stories of us. But I never worked it out completely.

[ She sighs, picking through her words, trying to relent without apologizing. ]

I've been angry with you for something you haven't even done yet, a decision you'll make for another you who won't know me well enough to understand why I wouldn't appreciate it. But I got something out of that, too, Doctor. [ Much, much more quietly, ] And I've left them behind.

I think I've had enough of that.

[ Smiling, she rests a hand on his leg. ]

Thank you for saving me, Sweetie.

[attackbrows]

[ Again, he’s quiet. He is simply content with her company. His free hand cups over his cheek. Knowing what he had to do to keep River ‘alive’ - it was probably one of the most brilliant (and stupidest) ideas in his life. An incarnation of the Doctor who doesn’t know how far these two will run, so young and naïve, but one truth always ring true in all the Doctor’s lives: He hates losing people.

With the same free hand, he wraps it over River’s hand, not quite reckoning the wave of emotion washing over his body. ]

That anger wasn’t misplaced.

[ He gives her hand a firm squeeze. ]

[spoilers]

[ Acknowledgement of fault? What has he done with her husband?

But even as she stares at him in quiet disbelief, her lingering uncertainty fades, light chasing the shadow out of her eyes. ]

I was hurt, Doctor.

[ After so long hiding the damage, it's a relief to say it outright, even if it forces them both to confront it. ]

My life was decided for me before I was born. You took away my choice, even in the end. And you can tell anyone else you were trying to save me, but it wasn't about me, Doctor. It was about you. It was selfish.

[ She shrugs and turns her hand in his to lace their fingers tightly together. ]

I can be selfish too.

I don't believe they can do as they claim. We may go on like this forever or we might all be gone tomorrow. I love you. [ The words nearly catch in her throat; it's so rare they say them to each other, favoring 'I hate yous' instead. ] I won't waste my time being angry over what can't be changed.